Not all parents have the same success in rearing godly children. Indeed, some godly parents have children who turn out to be rebellious and disobedient to God. They have done their jobs as parents but the children, sometime under peer influence or something else, choose to live a different lifestyle.
There are some occasions when parents’ mistakes are obvious and result in “provoking children to wrath” (Eph. 6:4) or otherwise making the children unprepared for life. Here are some mistakes which parents make:
1. Too much guidance. Some parents smother their children with too much guidance. Their children are never able to make a decision of their own; they are never allowed to make a mistake and learn from their mistake by suffering its consequences. These children will be immature.
2. Threatening. Some parents take a dictatorial attitude toward child-rearing (“So long as you are under my roof . . .” ). The parents have the right to manage their home according to their best judgment and the children need to recognize this; however, when this becomes the primary means of controlling behavior, the child decides that he will live like he pleases when he turns eighteen. I have seen several families whose children attended worship faithfully until they turned eighteen and then the children left home and became wild.
3. Teaching children to put other things before Christ. I have witnessed parents inadvertently teaching their children that school work, ball games, recreational activities and jobs takes precedence over the demands of Christ on one’s life. This is done by parents who allow their children to miss worship in order to attend these events. Children are brought up believing that they should attend worship if nothing else is scheduled for that day.
4. Unfair comparisons. Some children are driven to despair and deep-seated anger by constant comparisons with others. Not all children have the same abilities. When one with little math ability is compared to a sibling who excels in math, he may work to his best potential and never achieve the same level of excellence. As parents, we need to give children room to be themselves, encouraging them to reach their own potential, not someone else’s potential.
There are many other ways that we fail as parents. Our children cannot expect perfect parents anymore than parents can expect perfect children. Where affection and love predominate, our failures can be forgiven and heal (1 Pet. 4:8).
The impact of a Christian’s life is enhanced by faithful children. Our efforts to teach the world will carry greater weight when our families demonstrate by their lives the truths which we affirm. May God help every parent among us to rear God-fearing children. (MIKE WILLIS)